brixtonbrood: (wrong)
[personal profile] brixtonbrood
This morning, having watched both of the semis, I was thinking that the UK had a good chance in this year's Eurovision. This wasn't demented nationalistic pride (I knew that Bonnie and Engelbert were going to, as they say, go down like a cup of cold sick), but a carefully considered viewpoint, based on the fact that this year, Eurovision is Emovision.

So many of the songs That got through the semis are tired gloomy dirges, the sort of thing Ian Curtis would have written if he were Moldovan. Norway's is called "The Monster In Me", for heaven's sake, and it isn't even about dinosaur slash (yes, it's a thing, look it up, especially the stuff about Douglas Carswell). Electro Velvet, on the other hand, was upbeat, peppy, bouncy, yes, ok, irritating, but hummable; it stood out, it was different. If Europe has decided to paint its bedroom black, bottom five; if Europe wants a bit of fun, top five, maybe better.

I was hopeful.

And now I've seen the running order. Bollocks. Slovenia first, Israel third, UK fifth, Lithuania seventh. The only four "happy" songs in the whole contest out of the way before 8:45. I made notes; Slovenia was "Shouty drummy bonkers", Israel was "Semitic Timberlake rap" (which I wrote before the end of the song, stay tuned for that), and Lithuania was "Acoustic Ibiza stomper (banjo)". If the UK had been 20th, sitting amongst the Emo dross like an orchid on a blackboard, we would have stood out and had a real chance; as it is, we're stuck amidst all of the other bouncy songs, and have no real chance. Put the spread on 18th. And hit the booze after Lithuania.
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